Ramones Worst to Best.
14. ACID EATERS (1994)
Ehhh. Covers. An interesting idea that wasn’t executed properly. They aren’t all bad covers but most of them just miss the mark. “Out of Time” is an example of one that works perfectly. “Have You Ever Seen the Rain” is pretty cool to hear as well. “Surf City” just sounds like a Ramones song. Traci Lords, Pete Townshend and Sebastian Bach all appear as guest vocalists on this album. Strange group. Strange times.
13. ADIOS AMIGOS (1995)
The Ramones last album. I have to admit I am not a CJ Ramone fan so that definitely hurt this record. He sings on five tracks, two of which he wrote. The album overall has okay composition. The cover of Johnny Thunders “I love You” is a real treat and in the Tom Waits song “I Don’t Wanna Grow Up” we see the band take a song that sounds like it must have been made for them. This album also holds a very underrated track in “Life’s a Gas”. “It’s Not for Me to Know” is a great junkie rock song written by Dee Dee. On the track “Born to Die in Berlin” we hear Dee Dee phone in a verse. Literally. There are some songs I really like on this album. There are also some I can’t stand. I should add the American version has a hidden track in “Spiderman” and the Japanese version and Captain Oi reissue includes “R.A.M.O.N.E.S.” originally written by Motörhead.
12. MONDO BIZARRO (1992)
First off “The Job That Ate My Brain” is a hilarious song and “Poison Heart” is fucking rad. Don’t @ me. This is the first album on Radioactive records after a departure from Sire. Also we see a new face in bassist CJ. Ugh. “Anxiety” does exactly what the title says with its rapid drum beat and droning guitars. “Touring” is a good call back to some melodies and themes The Ramones have explored before. Being bored on tour and playing Rock ‘N’ Roll. Also a Rockaway Beach reference, Hell yeah! Johnny Ramone wrote in his book “Commando” that Joey wrote “Censorshit” about Tipper Gore and then went on to vote for Bill Clinton. I think that gives us all we need to know about where the band was at this point. Btw “Cabbies on Crack” is just a dope name. The albums two singles “Poison Heart” and ‘Strength to Endure” were both written by Dee Dee. He sold the rights to The Ramones to pay for a lawyer to get him out of jail for a weed charge.
11. HALFWAY TO SANITY (1987)
The last album with Richie. Problems were everywhere during this one. Richie felt like he wasn’t getting a fair cut. Johnny claims Dee Dee didn’t play on the album, instead new producer Daniel Rey filled in his spots. Also add in conflicts with production and recording practices. The band was in disagreement. All that being said there are some really good songs on Halfway to Sanity. The single “I Want to Live” is a gem and a great song to kick this album off. In “Bop ‘Till you Drop” Joey sings “Stick them up, Give me your money”. It may have been about money but the band still sounded like they had some purpose. Debbie Harry and Joey on “Go Lil Camaro Go” is a match made in heaven. More of that would have been awesome. “I Know Better Now” is a heavy song that finds The Ramones playing what they play best with a sharper edge. In contradiction to Johnny saying Dee Dee didn’t play on the album we get “I Lost My Mind” sung by Dee Dee in gritty manic vocals. Finishing the album off is “Worm Man” another frantic yet fitting song for this album.
10. BRAIN DRAIN (1989)
In Brain Drain we get Marky back but no Dee Dee. Allegedly. Dee Dee now is the one claiming that he was so turnt off by the bands money, mental, and girl problems he dreaded being around them and “Didn’t even end up playing on the album”. This will be the last record The Ramones realesed under Sire marking the end of an era. “I Believe In Miracles” fucking rocks. Johnny fucking rips on it and you could never tell there was turmoil. Maybe Bill Laswell was on to something having Johnny record guitars on “Five or six tracks”. “Pet Sematary” is so good. Stephen King and The Ramones is just an awesome collab. “Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)” is an all time Christmas song. Ending the album with this is a very ambitious choice that i think paid off.
9. SUBTERRANEAN JUNGLE (1983)
While this was a return to The Ramones roots it was the first album to feature someone on vocals other than Joey. On “Outsider” a song that stays true to the essence of the band Dee Dee sings co vocals. He then takes over on lead vocals for the song “Time Bomb”. A Thunders inspired tune where he sings “I’m gonna brag about it, Gonna kill my Mom and Dad, I wont be sad about it because they treat me so bad”. In that track you hear sounds and themes that bands like Rancid will use for years to come carrying on the spirit of punk rock. “Psycho Therapy” is a staple Ramones song no question about it. “My Kind of Girl” works but idk. It’s hard to rank anything out of the top 7. Also “Indian Giver” should have made this album.
8. ANIMAL BOY (1983)
“Somebody Put Something In my Drink” and “Animal Boy” get on you quick. Fast and hard equipped with some darker heavier vocals from Joey. Dee Dee sings “Love Kills” an ode to Sid and Nancy which is strange but i think it works. He was tapped in to a side of songwriting on this one that bands are still recreating. In “Mental Hell” we get a peak into Joeys mental health. “She Belongs to Me” (4 minute song!) finds Joey back in his “Crazed Lover” character and it sounds so good. He even threatens to kick someone’s ass in this song. Hell yeah. “Bonzo Goes to Bitburg” is so good and i think it belongs on this album. Normally the war/protest songs are some of The Ramones stronger work. Fuck the man. “Something to Believe In” is one of the greatest parodies of all time. I think The Ramones sense of humor tends to get lost in history. “Hands Across Your Face” and “Ramones Aid” the slogans used to mock “Hands Across America” and “Live Aid” in the music video are just hilarious. Also “Eat the Rat” is incredible. Fight me.
7. TOO TOUGH TO DIE (1984)
Too tough to die the last album Tommy would produce for The Ramones starts with “Mama’s Boy” a nod to old punk tunes and ‘The Stooges’ bent out of shape Rock N’ Roll. A turn back to older times. After two failed pop albums the band was determined to get their edge back and do what they did best. “Wart Hog” sung by Dee Dee is a militant, junkie, in the pocket, punk rock song. I always cut “Howling At the Moon (Sha-La-La) a break because i fucking love it, but didn’t we leave the Spector sound behind?! The band gives us their first instrumental with “Durango 95”. “Endless Vacation” is another growling punk installment by Dee Dee. “I’m Not Afraid of Life” and “No Go” sound like Elvis in the best way. Oh Yeah TTTD also marked the start of new Drummer Richie Ramone. In “Too Tough to Die” Joey tells us just how tough he is, even though he wasn’t feeling well and Dee Dee wrote most the songs.
6. END OF THE CENTURY (1980)
On the opening track “Do You Remember Rock N’ Roll Radio?” Joey sings “It’s the end, the end of the 70’s. It’s the end, the end of the century.” And he couldn’t have been more right. After four albums and no hit singles The Ramones turned to a crazed Phil Spector. This would be the first album excluding Tommy from production. Looking to tap into the sound that put numerous bands on the map years before, they traded their leather jackets for different colored tshirts and a few pop tunes. “I’m Affected” has a killer arrangement that just sounds so tight. Overproduced it may be but damn it works. “The Return of Jackie and Judy” gives us a sequel to “Judy was a Punk”. “Chinese Rock” is such a good song and i love to hear The Ramones do it. People hate on this version and i say fuck em. From Spector allegedly pulling a gun on Dee Dee to Joey staying behind while everyone flew home and singing on the reboot of the Ronettes 1963 song “Baby, I Love You” this album was bound to be controversial. “Danny Says” is a great Joey song. Providing more insight into his personal life. We don’t get that often so these ones tend to play. “Rock ‘N’ Roll High School” is an anthem and an all time Ramones song. According to Dee Dee he was also replaced at bass on this album lol.
5. PLEASANT DREAMS (1981)
Coming off an overproduced Phil Spector album The Ramones give us a more in tune ‘Pleasant Dreams’. They took all the good parts from “End of the Century” and trashed the rest. “We Want the Airwaves” fires this album off with Joey demanding respect. “The KKK Took My Baby Away” is probably a top 5 Ramones song full of references to the holidays and loved ones going away and never coming back. In gruesome fashion. On “It’s Not My Place (In The 9 to 5 World)” Joey exclaims that he’s not cut for the 9 to 5 over a tropical vacation beat. It’s so matter of fact you just believe him. “She’s A Sensation” is a block rocker that could have been on ‘Leave Home’ or ‘Rocket’. Joey shines on “7-11” crooning over a bubble gum sound, a close second in the rankings of songs he penned. (See next album). Johnny also particularly stands out on this song with a very cool picked guitar. At this point Dee Dee’s addiction and Joey and Marky’s alcohol intake caused problems with the band. Not to mention Joey’s girlfriend left him and started dating Johnny. The beginning of the end. This is the first album where they split up song writing credits with Joey writing seven songs on the record. In “You Didn’t Mean Anything to Me” Joey croons a message once again that’s believable. “Business Is Killing Me” shows a theme ever present in later Ramones. There are elements in this song they will expand on in later works. Also the first Ramones album to feature no covers. Speaking of covers, this is one of the best.
4. LEAVE HOME (1977)
New York City 1977, The Summer of Sam. Ramones fully locked in to their sound and what they want to achieve. This album can be switched with “Rocket to Russia” they were just hammering out a catalogue of songs that all could have fit on the same album. In their second effort you hear them a little more clean, a little faster. “Pinhead” introduces us to ‘Gabba Gabba Hey’ another great chant in Ramones lore. “I Remember You” and “Oh Oh I Love Her So” are endearing entries to The Ramones love song catalogue with the latter being maybe the best song ever written by Joey Ramone. “You’re Gonna Kill That Girl”, “You Should Never Have Opened That Door” and “Glad to See you Go” give us the comic book killer storyline once agin. In “Swallow My Pride” you can hear some of the first harmonies they did. “Commando” maybe the tightest track they have recorded, is a straight drill super soldier song. An idea played with on some of their other material. “California Sun” deserves mention for one of the best Ramones covers. “Gimme Gimmie Shock Treatment” fits right in with other songs about being sedated and mental crisis. Punk was alive and The Ramones were up front.
3. ROCKET TO RUSSIA (1977)
The second album in 77 and the last to feature Tommy on drums. (He would stay on to produce two more). Like i said this could be switched with “Leave Home” but i put it higher. “Rockaway Beach” was one of the most melodic songs Dee Dee wrote and has some of the best lyrics. “Chewing out the rhythm on my bubblegum”. It’s Ramones run down Queens, NY beach mixed with Beach Boys, California coast and it has so much damn charm you just care about it. In “I Don’t Care” you hear The Ramones not giving a single fuck. “Here Today, Gone Tommorow” is some of the best Joey sap ever recorded. Still maintaining that his lover has to pay the price for him calling it over. We also get some of the most iconic Ramones chants. In “Cretin Hop” and “Teenage Lobotomy” the youth is riled up and captivated while in “We’re A Happy Family” the adults are alienated. “Do You Wanna Dance” another cover of a song that was built for The Ramones. You can’t help but want to groove to it. And let’s face it “Sheena Is a Punk Rocker” is way cooler than “Suzy Is a Headbanger” but maybe not as cool as “Judy Is a Punk”. “Surfing Bird” is a ridiculous song that shows off the bands sense of humor, how do they find these covers?!!! “Ramona” is such a sweet song and I’m so glad it was included on this album. This album is littered with funny punchlines and just good Rock ‘N’ Roll. The city was showing up and The Ramones were playing fast and loud.
2. RAMONES (1976)
Joey. Johnny. Dee Dee and Tommy. The core four. The Ramones. With a few chords, two minute songs and $6500 dollars they changed Rock ‘N’ Roll forever. This was punk rock. The Stooges dabbled first and The Sex Pistols took it to another level but this was punk rock realized. Borrowing melodies from Bubblegum Pop and Garage rock mixed with comic books, 1970’s New York and a dark sense of humor The Ramones paved the way. Leather jackets, ripped blue jeans and Converse. “Blitzkrieg Bop”, “Beat On the Brat” and “Judy Is a Punk” are all punk rock albums. Third verse different from the first. We get two outstanding love songs in “I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend” and “Let’s dance”. Two heartbreakers in “I Don’t Wanna Walk Around With You” and “Listen To My Heart”. “Loudmouth” and “Chainsaw” give us proper drill Ramones. “53rd and 3rd” is another all time green beret junkie story while “Havana Affair” is a great super soldier spy war thriller. “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue” was one of The Ramones first references to going mental or brain draining. Finishing perfectly with “Today Your Love Tomorrow The World”. One of the bands strongest efforts. The call for counter culture in late 1970’s New York was met with The Ramones. I still think any song on this album could have been a single.
1. ROAD TO RUIN (1978)
And here we are. The best Ramones album. IMHO. No Tommy on drums but fear not because Marky fit right in. A more technical sound with a lot of crash and cymbal work. With a tune up on the rhythm section and three albums under their belt The Ramones wrote some of their best songs. “I Just Want to Have Something to Do” being my favorite of all. Joey has some all time highs on “Questioningly” (Top 3 Ramones song) and “Needles and Pins”. Both unforgettable. We get a few Johnny solos on “Don’t Come Close” and “It’s a Long Way Back” which I will always be there for. “I’m Against It” is pure punk rock, everything sucks, fuck you. “I Wanna Be Sedated” set the tone for bored, angsty youth and “Go Mental” lit a match to that angst. “She’s The One” rips right through you and provides an example of what The Ramones do best. On “I Wanted Everything” we get another story of a man forced into crime because he wanted more than a boring 9-5. A trope often explored at length. This album sets itself apart from the first three with a different attitude and refined sound. Dangerous and focused. Diligent and militant.
-Steve Wilkos